Dieter Bohn Catch up on tech news from the weekend

Hello friends. We're going to start the newsletter with a story about how difficult it is to launch people into space but how it's worth doing it because then they are, you know, in space. Then we will end the newsletter with a story about how lawyers are really good at making things ridiculous, annoying, and disconnected from any reasonable human discourse.

As the week begins, here's some stories to get caught up on before Monday turns into Wednesday and all of the sudden it's Friday again. As time marches on, just remember: someday we'll have Space Lawyers. Something to look foward to.

- Dieter

Some news

+ Elon Musk’s future Starship updates could use more details on human health and survival

Loren Grush points out the obvious with her typical rigor: Elon Musk never seems to spend enough time talking about the very real engineering problem of keeping our stupid fragile human meatsack bodies alive in space.

+ Bose discontinues Sleepbuds due to faulty battery, will offer full refund to all customers. This is some very refreshing honesty from a big company.

+ Google has suspended its controversial ‘field research’ that allegedly scanned homeless people

By all appearances, Google trusted a third party contractor to act ethically with its face scanning field research. The technical term for that is “stupid.”

Some ecosystems explained

+ How an iOS developer built an alternative App Store for the iPhone

You absolutely must read this story and watch this video with Nick Statt. The cleverness of this approach for an alternative app store is amazing, and I’m going to be watching to see what lengths Apple will go to shut it down. You can probably guess that I’m hoping it stays up.

+ What the heck is Windows 10X?

Sean Hollister presents as much information as is really possible right now about Windows 10X. It’s helpful, but it also lays bare just how few details we really have to work with right now. As with the Duo, Microsoft needs to do quite a bit to bring developers on board. Failure here would be super embarrassing. Absent some real effort on Microsoft’s part, failure is more likely than not.

Some reviews

+ Asus’ ROG Phone II is powerful, ambitious, and ridiculous

I know fans of high-specced Android phones don’t like to hear me say this, but I will keep saying it: I don’t understand the appeal of gaming Android phones because I am pretty sure the only game that comes close to justifying the extra cost is Fortnite. I would love for a true Android Gamer to tell me I’m an idiot and explain why they need these beefy specs. If that’s you, please email me - dieter@theverge.com

+ Nokia 2720 Flip review: proof you can’t opt out of the smartphone generation

And on the other end of the spectrum is this flip phone. Can I just say how weird it is that I think I could text more efficiently from my watch that I could from a T9 phone? As An Old, I used to be proud of my T9 skills. Now I just whisper under my breath to Siri and hope nobody looks at me like the weirdo I am when I do it.

+ Apple iPad (2019) review: no competition

Here’s my review of the newest iPad. I think it’s great and still a very good deal at $329 to start — but it’s not quite as miraculous as the first $329 iPad. The processor is old, the smart keyboard is too expensive, and the lack of multi-user support is a huge problem. It’s the best tablet in this price range by far, but mainly because there’s no serious competition.

Some lols

+ Just cancel this thing, Samsung. It will be okay, we will all understand: Samsung’s Galaxy Home Bixby speaker quietly missed another launch date

+ The Star Wars x Le Creuset collection features Darth Vader Dutch ovens and Porg pie birds

I made this joke on Twitter and I’m enough of a child to make it again: Darth Vader’s suit was already a Dutch oven. Look: if the movies get to make jokes about spit-roasting porgs, I get to make jokes about Sith Lord flatulence.

+ Federal judge says nobody cares about the iPhone’s notch. Ah, but has this judge seen the notch on the Pixel 3 XL?

+ The court allowed the FCC to kill net neutrality because washing machines can’t make phone calls

This one isn’t a lol so much as it is a lol/sob. You might think that this headline from Nilay Patel is a joke. You might further think it’s a joke when he cites a Macbeth reference. Nope, it’s all real. The real joke is the state of the net neutrality debate in 2019.