Lifehack when "having it all" is breaking you

From: Leon from LifeHack - Tuesday Jul 29, 2025 06:42 pm

when 'having it all' is breaking you

Hi there,

A 2025 study just confirmed what every working parent already knows: 92% of us feel burnt out. But here's the plot twist—80% of employers have nothing in place to help. Time to write our own playbook.

Last week, I watched a friend—a brilliant marketing director and mother of two—break down in tears during our coffee catch-up. "I'm doing everything right," she said, "but I feel like I'm failing everywhere."

Sound familiar?

The 'Having It All' Myth Is Literally Making Us Sick

Let's start with the research bombshell nobody's talking about: 65% of working parents now report clinical burnout levels. That's not "tired." That's not "stressed." That's medical-grade exhaustion.

The mental health toll is staggering. Working mothers are 28% more likely to experience anxiety and depression than their counterparts. And here's the kicker—45% of us believe parenting today is genuinely harder than it was for previous generations.

We're not imagining it. We're not weak. The game has fundamentally changed, but we're still playing by 1980s rules.

The New Success Equation: Quality Over Quantity

Here's what nobody tells you about "balance"—it's a myth designed to make you feel inadequate. The most successful working parents I know have abandoned balance for something better: integration.

Take Sarah Chen, a tech executive I interviewed last month. She was working 70-hour weeks, missing bedtimes, and her performance reviews were tanking. Then she did something radical: she started working less.

Not just leaving earlier. She redefined what "presence" meant:

• At work: 100% focus during core hours, zero guilt about boundaries

• At home: Phone in a drawer, full attention on family

• For herself: Non-negotiable 15 minutes daily for something that fills her cup

Result? Her team's productivity increased 23%. Her daughter stopped asking, "Are you coming home tonight?" And her Sunday night anxiety disappeared.

Building Your Support Architecture

It really does take a village—but in 2025, you have to build your own.

Creating Workplace Boundaries That Stick:

• Start with one small boundary (e.g., no emails after 7 PM)

• Communicate it clearly and stick to it for 30 days

• Watch how the world doesn't end

The 15-Minute Daily Ritual That Changes Everything:
Morning pages, meditation, a walk around the block—choose one thing that's just for you. Guard it like your child's doctor's appointment. Because your well-being IS a family emergency.

How to Ask for Help Without Feeling Guilty:
Replace "I'm sorry to bother you" with "I'd appreciate your help with..."
Replace "I should be able to handle this" with "I'm prioritizing my family's well-being."

Your Action Step for Tonight

Grab a piece of paper. Write down three things you're doing "because you should" versus "because they matter."

Maybe it's:
• Baking from scratch for the school fair (when store-bought is fine)
• Attending every optional work meeting (when the recording exists)
• Keeping the house Instagram-ready (when lived-in is beautiful)

Choose one to let go this week. Just one. Feel the space it creates.